Regret
by Laura the infamous B
Summary: A missing scene to Phantom Ninja.


Regret

"What just happened?" Ilana asked as they all look to where the probe had just been seconds before. No one needed to answer, they already knew what really mattered. Whatever the probe had held, it wasn't good.

Octus released the Titan and they settled to the ground in their respective armor suites which disappeared seconds later, leaving the threesome standing in the empty street, staring skyward, the sound of emergency sirens in the distance.

"Lance!"

The soldier's eyes went slightly wide at Ilana's shout as she caught sight of him and his somewhat ruinous state.

Ah damn...

"Are you okay?" She rushed up to him, raising a hand to touch him but he stepped back involuntarily, shame flooding through him.

"I'm okay," he mumbled, unable to meet her concerned gaze.

"Lance, what happened?"

He fidgeted, rubbing absently at his sore left wrist.

"That... creature. It... caught me with my guard down," he confessed, for the most part.

"So that's why you were late. Are you sure you're okay? Octus?"

Lance flinched as a scanning beam sluiced over him.

"I am scanning several small muscle tears, especially from his left wrist, but otherwise, he appears okay," Octus reported dutifully. "From appearances, that creature was a Mutraddi Xishi. A highly evolved being, used in intelligence gathering.

Intelligence gathering. Yeah.. right.

"We better get going," he stated, wanting nothing more then to be alone.

"Lance," Ilana started but stopped as he turned.

"Lets.. just go home," he almost asked plaintively.

She didn't say anything, and neither did Octus, but the princess started walking, the robot assuming his parental hologram as he fell in along side her, Lance following a few paces behind.

In his room, he sat on his bed, staring sightlessly at the floor.

Idiot; fool; moron, were some of the thoughts flitting through his head.

Failure.

That one made him physically ill.

"Lance."

He started, head jerking up to see Octus standing in the open door way, in his robot mode. Then the young solider looked away, annoyed.

"I said I'm okay, Octus," he muttered darkly.

"What happened, Lance?" the robot asked, without preamble.

He glared at Octus, then sighed. Of course the machine needed to know. It involved Ilana's safety.

"I... screwed up, Octus," he confessed, head dropping between his shoulders. "I... was getting ready to come to the event when I heard some sirens and... and I went to see what was happening. Then, that thing caught me. Took me out in two shots."

He clenched his fist in frustration. Fool. Damn, damn fool.

"When I came too... it.. interrogated me."

Bile rose in his throat at the memory. That, thing, forcing it's way into his mouth, probing within him... And more sickening was that he couldn't' stop it. Couldn't keep himself from answering it's question.

Failure!

"My fault she was attacked. I... I..."

"Lance, I am aware of the Xishi's special talents. You are not at fault," Octus consoled, which just pissed him off.

"I am at fault!" he hissed, fighting not to raise his voice and further disturb Ilana. "I, got selfish. I stopped thinking about what was best for taking care of Ilana, and started thinking about me!" He thumped his chest, revealing in the pain that jarred from the impact. "I thought about what I wanted, what I needed, not, not what was best for Ilana, and it nearly got her killed!"

He glared at the machine, but Octus made no move to either condole or refute him. Somehow, the robot's lack of response drained the anger from him.

"Ilana needs someone who will keep her safe," he said softly.

Octus' single eye flickered, as if contemplating something, then nodded, the robot having adapted that earthen gesture.

"Get some rest, Lance. You have school tomorrow."

He watched the machine leave, closing the door quietly behind him then heaved a sigh, throwing himself of his bed and proceeded to stare sightlessly at the ceiling.

What could he do now? How could he face Ilana knowing how he'd failed her? How he'd put her in danger by being , one, too stupid to listen to Octus, and two, too weak to resist the interrogation.

His stare turned into a glare.

Wallowing in self-pity wouldn't help things. Giving into his personal disgust wouldn't help things. It was time for him to suck it up and do his mission!

A new resolution formed him. A new purpose.

Ilana deserved someone worthy of her trust. Worthy of her faith. He, would prove himself worthy, he promised himself silently. He would look past himself and see what she needed, what mattered to her. It was time for him to stop thinking just about what was best for him, and what was best for her.

She deserved someone worthy

He would prove himself worthy!

And then he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, content with his new mission.


End file.
